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[Want to chat with Bolton privately? Here is where you do it! Bolton's office hours will be held in conference room B in the library for approximately four hours in the morning several days a week. During that time the blinds will be drawn and that room will be off-limits unless you're there to talk to Bolton, though the other three study rooms will still be available for use.


Comments are screened for privacy.]

Date: 2017-03-17 03:50 pm (UTC)
curdle: (pic#11092249)
From: [personal profile] curdle
[ She stares wide-eyed at Bolton's hand first, and his face later, through the water in her eyes. Part of her feels sick to death at what appears to be the implicit confirmation of her thoughts, and part simply resigned to it, but mostly she's just trying to find any way to understand and respond to what he's saying. Her voice is very thick. ]

I have learned.

[ She still believes in God. After everything, and surely even as she signed away her soul, she knows a God exists. But either he does not care what happens to them, and will not act, or he is condemning them outright. She would have believed the latter most easily before she met her friends here. Not a single one of them would be considered as showing the hallmarks of salvation, not even the ones with faith after a fashion, and perhaps that is why they were selected. But even if she accepts that they are bound for Hell, she cannot bring herself to think of them as evil.

This is why she was so certain she would conjure the devil, isn't it? She knows she will not be saved. If she had accepted the death awaiting her with a heart full of faith, maybe she would rest peacefully in heaven, as Margulis had wished for her. But Thomasin is not that pious girl. The others think her faith is pure, and she an innocent, because they are so far removed from how she sees things, and perhaps she has represented herself that way. But she wanted to live on in this sinful world, to which they are never supposed to attach great importance. She wanted to live well in it. Now that she knows what the next life holds, she wants it more than ever, and she assigns more importance to her fellow Champions' acts here and now than their distance from the elect. This is who she always was, and Bolton and Jamie probably know it better than anyone else -- better even than Shadow, to whom she had told the most. He has seen the darkness of her soul.

And he thought she deserved better. Thomasin sniffs and blinks a new set of tears down her cheeks in an attempt to compose herself and not do what she thinks and what she feels like, which is to throw herself across the table and start sobbing directly into his shoulder. ]


I told Yurika -- I thought this low condition was yet better than the farm. It is. You...

[ Thank you. ]

Date: 2017-03-30 07:34 pm (UTC)
curdle: (pic#11160828)
From: [personal profile] curdle
[ She readily accepts the handkerchief and starts dabbing her eyes, breathing in and out as deeply as she can -- using the same sort of technique he had tried to instill in her after she dreamed of Caleb, actually, which she finds hard to believe was only two weeks ago. She's trying to imagine the celebrations he's describing, to picture them in her mind while her actual line of sight fixes squarely on the table. ]

I should like to see it. [ She sort of sighs. ] There is so much I would like to see.

[ It hasn't occurred to her yet that he's implying more than one of them will leave here eventually any more than it's occurred to her what a Pride parade actually entails! But the first part, slowly, starts to set in. (The second can wait until like a full month after endgame happens, when she is actually physically at Pride. She'll get it someday.) ]

Say you that this will end while divers of us [ in English this sounds like a slightly truncated "diverse" and means... you know... multiple people ] yet live?

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The Airlocked Overseers

February 2017

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